The Corie Weathers Podcast

Parenting Teens with Pam Brummett

On this episode of Lifegiver, I sit down with my good friend Pam Brummett who has raised three fantastic kids, two of them still in high school. It turns out the military doesn't ruin your kids :)

Bullying with Dr. Bina Patel

Bullying is a worldwide epidemic that impacts both children and adults. In today’s culture, we see cyber-bullying impacting adults like never before. Divisive conversations over social media, trolling, and mean-ness is causing people to think twice about staying connected online. During this episode in the parenting series, I sit down with Dr. Bina Patel an expert in workplace dynamics, conflict mediation with women, and conflict mediation between culture/religious groups. Dr. Patel offers strategies you can use in your workplace, volunteer circles and with your kids on how to confront bullies and build confidence. In today’s culture, ♣ 30% of teens in the US have experienced bullying ♣ School bullying: 1 in 4 kids at school have been bullied; 160K kids in the US miss school due to bullying ♣ Gay bullying: 2 to 3times more likely to commit suicide and 30% of all completed suicides have been related to sexual identity crisis in the US. ♣ 9 out of 10 LGBT students have reported being bullied at school within the past year. It’s not just for kids, though. Bullying between adults can make the workplace difficult to walk into each day. While many of us grew up being told to ignore a bully, Dr. Patel offers some ways to confront the bully immediately. Dr. Patel offers us an inspiring way to help our children build their self-esteem, find their words, get to the root of their feelings, and become assertive. Of course we all need a little bit of this too! Here are a few tips and resources that Dr. Patel offered: ♣ Confront the bully: don’t ignore it. Turn the negative into a compliment ♣ Love and respect: be confident and love yourself. If you respect yourself, the negativity and harsh words of the bullying will bounce off of you. – you control your own emotions, if you believe that you do, others will not be able to hurt you. ♣ Tell them to stop: point out they’re hurting you (assertive communication) – use the “put yourself in my shoes” technique. ♣ Silence: specific to online bullying- confront them through assertive communication, but do not continue the dialog. This is more harmful to the victim as others are reading it and it is set in writing. Note: if nothing else works, the silent treatment is the best treatment. As the victim, walk away from the bullying. ♣ Online bullying: block posts, delete the posts, report them to Facebook; reach out to the victim either via separate/private message, or stand up for the victim by responding to a bully’s post (assertive communication). Note to Parents: Know your child – know their behaviors, moods, and what makes them tick/happy. If you are cognizant of their behaviors on a normal basis, you will know that something is wrong if your child does not eat, becomes withdrawn, looks sad, etc. Monitor the social media outlets that your child may be using. It is wise to create an account to monitor them, more so that you are aware if someone is bullying them. Be a friend! When your child is depressed, sad, withdrawn, etc, talk them as though you are friends. It is important so that the child feels comfortable they can tell you what is on their mind. One of the books recommended: Confessions of a Former Bully

Parenting with Small Kids

Marriage can often feel like a partnership more than a marriage during the years of raising kids. So many families talk about missing the intimacy they used to have and life feeling more like survival. Sure enough, it can feel like you are more shoulder-to-shoulder during this season. In this episode, we talk about how you can make more face-to-face time with your spouse as well as find ways to be more protective of it during the parenting years. We will talk about how to handle conflict, plan dates, as well as navigate the struggle of different parenting styles. A must-listen for military and first responder couples who often feel like ships passing in the night. Here is what others have said: 1. Always make an effort to treat each other as we would a guest in our home. Common courtesy and everyday kindness makes all the difference in the world. A simple "Can I get you anything" or "Can I help with that" have kept our marriage first. 2. Staying positive is really important and although it can be challenging at times I have found it always helps us get back to that sweet spot we long for. 3. Taking even ten minutes to talk to each other. It could be at 0500 or 2200....but either way, just spend some time not on an electronic device (provided they are not thousands of miles away at the time) and asking the other person about their day. We attend Bible studies and church functions where we can grow spiritually while the kids are doing the same. As the kids get older, the minutes will be easier to turn into hours. But for the very small and precious time the kids are little, my best advice is to make the most quality out of the little bits of time.

Compassion Fatigue

Lifegiver is BACK with an all new episode! Welcome to 2017! I've returned from a sabbatical and have been thinking a lot about compassion fatigue and burnout. No doubt that I have seen this in my own life, but what if it is a bigger problem than we realize in our community? If you are burned out from volunteering or giving all of your compassion away to the outside world- you are not alone. In this episode, we will talk about how to know if you are struggling with compassion fatigue and ways you can get yourself back on track and healthy again. It is a big problem, especially if you have nothing left to offer your marriage or family. Military and First Responders have the most difficult time saying "NO" when their entire world revolves around service.

Sexual Intimacy & Post-Affair

Dr. Mike Sytsma is one of the most respected Christian Sex Therapists in the US. Based out of Atlanta, his office, Building Intimate Marriages, sees mostly couples who feel sexually "incompatible" or are post-affair. Most of his post-affair couples continue on to find new hope in their marriage. In this candid interview (FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY), I ask Dr. Sytsma all the questions I believe we are often most afraid to ask, especially as it relates to military specific issues that interfere with a healthy sex life. We discuss what couples can do during and after deployments, how to protect your marriage from affairs, and what you can do to start healing if your marriage is broken because of one. You can find all of the resources Dr. Mike mentioned in the link provided. Special thank you to In-Dependent.org for allowing me to host the Military Spouse Wellness Summit 2016 where I interviewed Dr. Mike and allowing me to post this extended version of that interview here.

Friends: Making and Keeping Them

Who would have ever thought that we needed help with making friends? In the military, we have to make them quickly. In the first responder world, they are necessary to get through daily chaos. In both worlds, they are crucial to survival but did you know that we need to be working on this area of our life? According to Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy, we can't just tell someone our life story and suddenly be BFF's. In this episode, Shasta will explain the process of friendship and the importance of understanding just how deep and intimate the relationship actually is. What if you are more serious about the friendship than they are? What if you are incompatible? Can we be friends with the opposite sex?

4 Myths of Marriage

Dr. Parrott is a New York Times Best Selling Author along with his wife Leslie Parrott, a marriage and family therapist. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University – a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships. The Parrotts have been featured in USA Today and the New York Times. Their television appearances include CNN, The View, The O’Reilly Factor, The Today Show and Oprah. As #1 New York Times best-selling authors, their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages, and include best-selling and Gold-medallion winner Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Other popular titles include Real Relationships, L.O.V.E., The Parent You Want To Be, Trading Places, The Complete Guide To Marriage Mentoring and Love Talk. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott In this interview, I talk with Dr. Parrott about his 4 myths of marriage and how they might apply specifically to military families.

Fighting for Marriage with Taya Kyle

In this incredibly moving interview, Taya Kyle opens up about her marriage to the love of her life Chris Kyle. Chris was tragically murdered during the filming of American Sniper, forcing Taya to find a way to move forward with the legacy he was building while mourning his loss. Today, Taya continues to carry out that legacy by investing in military and first responder marriages through the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation. CKFF offers Date Night Out's, Revitalization Retreats for couples, Spouse Retreats, and more. During the 2016 Military Spouse Wellness Summit, Taya shared her wisdom about marriage, perspective on military deployments, what she believed Chris needed from her, as well as how faith has played a role in her moving forward. - If you are married... this episode is for you. - If you have lost someone... this episode is for you - If you are going through a difficult season... this episode is for you - If you are wondering where God is...this episode is for you - If you are looking for hope... this episode is for you This extended interview includes additional questions about her faith, her perspective on the Sacred Spaces of her life being made extremely public, and more. For more information on the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation: www.chriskylefrogfoundation.org