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If you allow it, the military career will take more than it gives. It can challenge the strongest military marriage and seduce military leaders into believing their career is more important than WHO they become. The Lifegiver podcast began as a way to encourage, inspire, and bring hope to leaders and military couples when they feel burned out and they’ve lost their way. For almost 20 years, I have served the military and veteran population as a counselor, speaker, author, and subject matter expert on military culture. Lifegiver offers discussions and interviews on personal and leadership development and ways to breathe life into your military marriage and home. Real stories, expert interviews, and honest conversation.
Episodes
Wednesday Apr 01, 2020
Wednesday Apr 01, 2020
Dr. Kendra Lowe knows the challenges service members face as she is a Veteran herself. When she switched to the civilian life Dr. Kendra was surprised to note that she experienced just as much stress as a spouse as she experienced while in the service.
"The concepts and perspectives derived from Dr. Lowe’s decade-long research, aims to provide command teams with an operational approach to combat the mission degrading effects of military spouse stress."
There is stress for spouse and it's significant. We know that. But what now?
Her book answers that question.
Dr. Kendra has created a resource that walks the reader through 8 weeks of changing their thought processes. Her website states: This comprehensive and invaluable tool will help you accept the unique nature of military life, anticipate and persevere in the face of social-emotional setbacks, practice effective coping strategies, and learn to thrive on to new possibilities. Read more:
Resources:
Her book titled Wake Up, Kick Ass, Repeat: A Guide to Self Perseverance Within the Military Spouse Life Cycle
Interested in subscribing to the Lifegiver Newsletter? Subscribers get discounts on their first session with Corie and find more information on building a community of Lifegivers. Click here to subscribe.
Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver
Friday Mar 20, 2020
Friday Mar 20, 2020
To the surprise of, well, everyone... kids who were in public schools are now at home facing a homeschool-like situation. Parents are now scrambling trying to balance remote work, parenting, quarantines, and now overseeing their child's education. If you are feeling overwhelmed, Jennifer Hamrick has words of encouragement for you. You can love your child and be a fantastic parent and still be very unhappy with this new situation. Listen in as Jennifer shares great tips for how to manage a house full of kids and still have time for you.
Friday Mar 20, 2020
Friday Mar 20, 2020
Matt interviews two US Army Chaplains about how they are creatively sustaining community and care using social media and other platforms. With the introduction of the Coronavirus, ministry teams and churches are looking to find new ways to care for each other, embrace the newest generations, and connect online rather than face to face.
Wednesday Mar 18, 2020
Wednesday Mar 18, 2020
Matt and I do our first live streaming episode where we talk about the impact of the virus on our community. We specifically talk about how to handle the tension of being quarantined in your home 24/7 with your spouse and children. For our community, couples are often not used to being around each other all the time or as FR families are now facing long hours with an invisible enemy. Listen in for tips to navigate your conversations. Here are a couple of resources we mention:
Interested in subscribing to the Lifegiver Newsletter? Subscribers get discounts on their first session with Corie and find more information on building a community of Lifegivers. Click here to subscribe.
Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver
Sunday Mar 15, 2020
Sunday Mar 15, 2020
Join us as we take a moment to assess how we as service families are doing and what we can do to influence the change we need in our own lives.
The Blue Star Families survey results were recently released and, not surprisingly, it was noted that we are struggling in several key areas. Listen in as Corie unpacks these and provides tips on how to ask for what you need.
If you are a spouse and feel relegated to the back burner, we understand. We know that it's often where we have to go... mission first. However, you can't stay there indefinitely. Your marriage can't stay on the back burner indefinitely. In this episode Corie talks about what to do if you are struggling with the way things are.
As always, we at Lifegiver strive to encourage you give your spouse the benefit of the doubt (regardless of whether he or she is the serving or supporting spouse). Assume your spouse is trying their best, and in light of that, assume that they want what's best for you. Being assertive and asking for what you need is absolutely okay and your spouse will probably be glad not to have to read your mind.
Interested in subscribing to the Lifegiver Newsletter? Subscribers get discounts on their first session with Corie and find more information on building a community of Lifegivers. Click here to subscribe.
Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver
Sunday Mar 01, 2020
Sunday Mar 01, 2020
Bree Carroll is an engineer using her skills as an event coordinator and wedding planner.
When Bree saw some marriages around her fail mostly due to a lack of resources to help them get through the challenges they faced. The resources were too hard to find. Not complied. suicides
As a person of action she made the leap from spectator on the sideline to influencer, making it her mission to connect those hurting to those who have the ability to help.
One of Bree's passions is wedding planning so watching marriages fall apart is counter to her very existence.
Bree Carroll's resources:
Other resources mentioned:
Saturday Feb 15, 2020
Saturday Feb 15, 2020
What we discuss:
In this episode Heather shares her story about being a Registered Nurse and her introduction to the challenges military families face. Because the stress of the lifestyle affects whole family she wanted to find a way to help an organization that was caring for the family unit.
When she didn’t find one that was serving whole families she created one. Project Sanctuary hosts 6-day retreats that focus on overcoming obstacles: financial, communication, family counseling, PTSD, and more. There are ten different locations and in 2020 there are 32 retreats planned.
Two hours a day are spent in therapeutic sessions. There are incredible activities at each location including fishing, white water rafting, horseback riding, ziplining, and snowmobiling. Some of these are once-in-a-lifetime activities while other activities are able to be replicated once the family goes home (hiking or playing board games).
Licensed and trained counselors are on-site all week. Break-throughs on the part of both the veteran and the spouses occur at each retreat!
Once a family has been on the retreat they are welcome to return as volunteers.
Resources and Links:
PS: Jennifer here... My family was able to attend a Project Sanctuary retreat at Snow Mountain Ranch and I had two personal breakthroughs during the PTSD session. As a Chaplain's wife I figured I'd heard most of the stuff they were going to cover so the fact that I had two major breakthroughs I didn't know I needed was powerful. One is related to a minor change in my husband after deploying twice. After two tours he started bouncing his leg while sitting and it was incredibly annoying. (Still is, to be honest.) In the PTSD session the speaker mentioned that this is a common side effect of combat trauma. I constantly asked him to stop doing this. The PTSD session mentioned this was a natural and healthy way to release tension and that my asking him to stop was basically me asking him to keep that tension bottled up. The leg bouncing is still irritating but after that session I rarely ask him to stop. I see it for what it is now.
The other breakthrough was having my own deployment-traumas validated. I didn't know that the supporting spouse could have legitimate traumas caused by deployment. I didn't face war. I didn't face danger. I didn't see death. And yet, I was changed and in some ways, the changes were strange to me. I got mad when my husband mowed the grass (it was my pet project during the 15 month deployment and he dared to touch it). I also didn't like for him to drive once he got back. I had spent the entire time taxiing the kids around and once he got back I didn't trust him behind the wheel. I had actual, physical manifestations of fear when he'd drive and he's a really good driver! Looking back I can see so clearly that both of these reactions were trauma-based but had no idea. How much easier reintegration would have been had we both known these things about ourselves and each other.
These two breakthroughs were worth the time it took for us to drive from Texas to Colorado for our retreat but there were many other benefits and experiences that made it spectacular. It was, in a literal and figurative sense, a mountaintop experience.
Saturday Feb 01, 2020
Saturday Feb 01, 2020
Welcome to Season 5! I can't believe we are starting another year of the Lifegiver Podcast. This is the Season Premier where I update you on all that is happening with Lifegiver- including the new Lifegiver TEAM! A special welcome to Jennifer Hamrick and Lisa Walters for their help in making the Lifegiver Newsletter an AMAZING resource for all of you. (Hint: Catch my interview with Jennifer in the first season of Lifegiver!).
If you haven't signed up for the Newsletter, make sure you do!!
In this episode we are talking about the importance of Timing and Tact with our emotions and words. Whether you are in conflict with you spouse, in a leadership position, or even a public advocate. Especially military spouses feel at times like their voice is limited and that any complaining can come across as being a negative spouse. The truth is, we have a right to our feelings and opinions, but have great responsibility in how we express them. Rather than become passive or perhaps worse- aggressive- we can learn to be more assertive in kindness and love. But... also with the right timing and tact. Listen in as I give examples and practical tips on how to be more confident with the amazing influence you have in your marriage, parenting, and in the world.