The Lifegiver Podcast with Corie Weathers
Ethan the Strong: A Story of Faith & Courage in the Midst of Loss

Ethan the Strong: A Story of Faith & Courage in the Midst of Loss

April 28, 2019

This is the second Sunday Special in Season 4 where we have honest conversations around faith in the midst of the service lifestyle.  In this episode, I'm introducing you to Jim and Ashley, an Army Chaplain couple, who recently went through one of the most difficult seasons of their life.  Shortly after PCSing, Ashely found out she was having identical twins boys about the same time that their two year old son began to have seizures.  Stretched thin with doctor's appointments during an already busy season of being stationed at the Chaplain School house, they soon found themselves in an overwhelming situation.  Listen in as Ashley and Jim share how their faith was challenged as they fought for the lives of their sons.  If you are going through a current season of loss, or have in the past, Jim and Ashley's story will inspire you and encourage you as it has already done for hundreds of families that have watched them from afar.  

 

Identity & Purpose with Brittany Boccher

Identity & Purpose with Brittany Boccher

April 15, 2019

I could not be more excited to share my good friend, Brittany Boccher with you. She was the 2017 AFI Military Spouse of the Year and has been traveling the country investing in military spouse by helping them define their identity and purpose.  Originally, Brittany defined her purpose by advocating for special needs families as she has a son with multiple medical issues.  However, she soon found that a bigger issue is plaguing our community- a lack of identity.

 

Brittany continues to advocate for EFMP families, but her passion for helping spouses reclaim who they are and find new purpose has resulted in her partnering with the USO to create a workshop and workbook titled Discovering Your Spark.     

After the results from my latest survey came back showing the same issue, I knew I had to have Brittany on to talk about not only what she was finding as she sits down with spouses face to face, but also what she has discovered herself is a way to find our way back to ourselves again.  Find Brittany also on FB: https://www.facebook.com/discoveringyourspark/

Connect with Corie Weathers!  www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com 

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC 

OPSEC: Keeping Your Family and Mission Safe

OPSEC: Keeping Your Family and Mission Safe

April 1, 2019

Episode 3, Season 4

(WATCH or LISTEN to this episode!)

Safety and security is more important than ever.  In a time where foreign adversaries are actively targeting and using American social media accounts, we need all the help we can get to keep our family and mission safe.  In this episode, I bring in my good friend, OPSEC Alex (Alexandra Panaretos) to give us practical advice and tips on personal and operation security.  I met Alex in 2015 at the AFI Military Spouse of the Year Awards where we discovered many military spouses, now in the public eye, were targeted by adversaries and being investigated by the FBI.  This hit home for so many of us and we realized it was time to take our personal information, including information on our family, seriously.  

Alex, a former military spouse herself, has made it her mission to educate military families and businesses on digital and personal safety.  This episode may be tough to hear, but it is absolutely imperative to share with your friends and family, as well as the military families you serve with.  

This episode can also be WATCHED on the Youtube link below.

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Recommended Articles by OPSEC Alex:

How to Declutter and Organize Your Personal Tech in a Few Simple Steps

What should I do if I think my kid's device has been hacked?

A Traveler's Guide to OPSEC

With just $60, researchers found and tracked NATO troops and even tricked them into disobeying orders

Connect with Corie Weathers!  www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com 

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC 

 

Sunday Special: Embrace Your Story

Sunday Special: Embrace Your Story

March 24, 2019

It's time for the very first Lifegiver Sunday Special.  I received feedback that some of you would like faith based content AND hearing from Matt- so this episode is the both of us giving a talk at our old stomping grounds where we first met- Gardner-Webb University.  The sound on this one is a bit different because it was recorded in a different place and format, but I hope the message comes through in a way that will encourage your story.

Guess what- You can also WATCH this episode as well!  Check it out here:

I hope that you enjoy this episode.  I personally am huge fan of Matt Weathers, so I'm happy to share the stage with him anytime.

Connect with Corie Weathers!  www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com 

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC 

 

A First Responder/Military Spouse Roundtable

A First Responder/Military Spouse Roundtable

March 15, 2019

Episode 2, Season 4

What happens when a veteran, a military spouse, and a first responder spouse sit down and talk about life together?  

I often get asked, do we really have that much in common?  Why would I have a podcast where I address the needs of both military and first responders?  Because we have a whole lot more in common than you think.

In this episode, I bring Ashley and Sarah on the podcast to talk about our different worlds and we would love for you to join us. 

Sarah is a first responder spouse, whose husband is now on the local SWAT team.  She brings authenticity and humor that will brighten anyone's day.  

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Ashley, calling in from Italy, is a veteran herself by has retired and is now a military spouse.  For those who don't know, we call that a dual service family.  She brings a perspective that all of use should pay attention to.

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Grab a cup of coffee or tea and pretend you are sitting at the table with us.  You will definitely be changed by this conversation.

Connect with Corie Weathers!  www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com 

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC 

S4 Ep1 How Are We REALLY Doing?

S4 Ep1 How Are We REALLY Doing?

February 28, 2019

Welcome to the season four premiere of the Lifegiver podcast!  

I've returned from my winter sabbatical with new vision for this year and that includes great plans for season 4.  When it all comes down to it, it's all about YOU.

In this first episode, I'll briefly share about my plans to make the podcast far more interactive in 2019 as well as talking about the results of a spouse survey I created that went viral.  Almost 750 spouses told me how they are REALLY doing and it turns out...

We have lots to talk about.

I wasn't surprised that we are struggling as a community. Many of you aren't doing well and you aren't talking about it.  In fact, many are burned out, exhausted, and borderline resentful.  So in this episode we are going to get honest about that.

But there are some of you who are really doing great.  So what is the difference?  Take a listen to find out where you fall with other spouses in the community.  Perhaps you need some encouragement who are figuring out how to balance it all or maybe you have a lot more to offer than you thought...

It's time to breathe life into our family- the community family as well.  

Books mentioned in the podcast:  Leading Women Who Wound

Connect with Corie Weathers!  www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com 

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC 

 

Bonus: Sarah Drew on Grey’s, Marriage, & her New Movie

Bonus: Sarah Drew on Grey’s, Marriage, & her New Movie

October 10, 2018

Listen in to my premiere interview with actor, Emmy nominated director, and producer Sarah Drew as she talks about life after Grey's Anatomy, marriage, and her newest movie Indivisible that hits theaters Oct 26th. Indivisible is based on real life Army Chaplain Couple Darren & Heather Turner.

Find theaters and more on INDIVISIBLE: https://indivisiblemovie.com/

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INDIVISIBLE: An Interview with Heather Turner

INDIVISIBLE: An Interview with Heather Turner

September 28, 2018

Watch (or listen) NOW to my special interview with Heather Turner about the upcoming movie Indivisible that tells the story of her marriage to a US Army Chaplain, Darren. Heather and Darren vulnerably share their story of how deployment and reintegration almost cost them their marriage and how they found restoration and hope.
INDIVISIBLE stars Sarah Drew , Justin Bruening, and Jason George from Grey's Anatomy and opens in theaters Oct 26th, 2018.
To watch the INDIVISIBLE Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUDz81_yVGY

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Part Two: The Deployment Series

Part Two: The Deployment Series

September 12, 2018

In this 2018 Season Finale, the Deployment Series brings an interview with Lizann Lightfoot, The Seasoned Spouse.  We talk all about the struggles of deployment and how you can thrive through any separation with your spouse.  Even if you are a first responder, this interview is for you.  First responders live daily deployments and experience reintegration everyday your serving spouse comes home.  

Find out more about Lizann's Deployment Masterclass by clicking here: https://seasonedspouse.com/ where she offers training, resources, private Facebook groups, and a series from "seasoned" experts ready to encourage you and prepare you.

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Part One: The Deployment Series

Part One: The Deployment Series

September 7, 2018

In this 2018 Season Finale, the Deployment Series brings an interview with Lizann Lightfoot, The Seasoned Spouse.  We talk all about the struggles of deployment and how you can thrive through any separation with your spouse.  Even if you are a first responder, this interview is for you.  First responders live daily deployments and experience reintegration everyday your serving spouse comes home.  

Find out more about Lizann's Deployment Masterclass by clicking here: https://seasonedspouse.com/ where she offers training, resources, private Facebook groups, and a series from "seasoned" experts ready to encourage you and prepare you.

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Strengths Parenting

Strengths Parenting

August 24, 2018

In this series, join Katie Christy and I as we completely nerd-out on the power of living out your strengths. All of us are good at something. None of us are good at everything. What if you figured out what you are created to do really well, maybe already do really well- and then get even better at it? Welcome to being a superhero.

Part 2: What are YOUR Strengths?

Part 2: What are YOUR Strengths?

August 3, 2018

In this series, join Katie Christy and I as we completely nerd-out on the power of living out your strengths. All of us are good at something. None of us are good at everything. What if you figured out what you are created to do really well, maybe already do really well- and then get even better at it? Welcome to being a superhero.

Part 1: Be Confident in Your Superpowers

Part 1: Be Confident in Your Superpowers

August 2, 2018

In this series, join Katie Christy and I as we completely nerd-out on the power of living out your strengths. All of us are good at something. None of us are good at everything. What if you figured out what you are created to do really well, maybe already do really well- and then get even better at it? Welcome to being a superhero.

Part 2: The Role of the Family

Part 2: The Role of the Family

July 27, 2018

The topic of moral injury continues to be discussed within the military and veteran space, but many still are unclear what it is and how it impacts a person and their family. Moral injury is often described as the internal struggle a person goes through after being asked to do something that goes against his or her morals or values. For many of our service members, this is a real issues that deeply impacts their ability to recover. In this FANTASTIC interview, listen as I speak with Chaplain Timothy Mallard, a subject matter expert not only in moral injury, but soul injury. Soul injury, he describes, is an even deeper and sometimes more complicated injury to the soul- often not due to anything the person did- but more so done to them. Sit back with a cup of coffee and listen. You wont want to miss a word of this two-part conversation.

Part 3: The Role of Community & God

Part 3: The Role of Community & God

July 27, 2018

The topic of moral injury continues to be discussed within the military and veteran space, but many still are unclear what it is and how it impacts a person and their family. Moral injury is often described as the internal struggle a person goes through after being asked to do something that goes against his or her morals or values. For many of our service members, this is a real issues that deeply impacts their ability to recover. In this FANTASTIC interview, listen as I speak with Chaplain Timothy Mallard, a subject matter expert not only in moral injury, but soul injury. Soul injury, he describes, is an even deeper and sometimes more complicated injury to the soul- often not due to anything the person did- but more so done to them. Sit back with a cup of coffee and listen. You wont want to miss a word of this two-part conversation.

Part 1: What Is Moral Injury

Part 1: What Is Moral Injury

July 14, 2018

The topic of moral injury continues to be discussed within the military and veteran space, but many still are unclear what it is and how it impacts a person and their family. Moral injury is often described as the internal struggle a person goes through after being asked to do something that goes against his or her morals or values. For many of our service members, this is a real issues that deeply impacts their ability to recover. In this FANTASTIC interview, listen as I speak with Chaplain Timothy Mallard, a subject matter expert not only in moral injury, but soul injury. Soul injury, he describes, is an even deeper and sometimes more complicated injury to the soul- often not due to anything the person did- but more so done to them. Sit back with a cup of coffee and listen. You wont want to miss a word of this two-part conversation.

It Takes a Village

It Takes a Village

July 1, 2018

WATCH or listen to this episode! Full transparency- I am in love with Young Life. This organization changed my life during our first deployment, simply because they loved my family when I needed it most. Now that my kids are old enough to be a part of it, I'm shouting it from the rooftops. Young life seres middle and high school students but extends all the way into college while also serving specific groups in need like special needs, teen moms, and more. In this interview, listen as I talk with Alex Holryode from Young Life in Columbia, SC. He shares how you can get your kids involved for extra support and positive role modeling- not to mention tons of fun. Be sure to click the links for more on Young Life and Club Beyond!

Part 3: My Interview with a Gen Z

Part 3: My Interview with a Gen Z

June 2, 2018

What could be more honest than a conversation with my own teenager? I could not have a series on Generation Z without bringing one in on the podcast. In this interview, I give Aidan full permission to honestly talk with me about his experiences at school with bullying, active shooter drills, academics, and what it is like to be a military kid that moves around a lot.

Ep 2-Raising Teens

Ep 2-Raising Teens

May 15, 2018

Do you have a pre-teen or teenager? I am so excited to share with you my interview with Gary Allen Taylor from Axis. Axis is an organization whose mission is to empower the next generation to think clearly and critically about what they believe and to take ownership of their faith. They do this not by outsourcing parents, but by resourcing them to disciple and transfer legacy to their children as they face life’s questions and challenges. We also support faith leaders in churches and schools by providing content and facilitators who effectively introduce and address life’s toughest topics. Raising Generation Z kids is all about having the right information and tools to parent in a loving and effective way. You will love the approach Axis is taking to equip you. Don't forget to sign up for their FREE newsletter called the Culture Translator. It will arrive in your email box every Friday with updates on what is happening in the culture, conversations your teen might be having at school, as well as tips for conversations you can start with your kids.

Ep 1: Raising Emotionally Safe Kids

Ep 1: Raising Emotionally Safe Kids

April 30, 2018

Parenting is hard enough, but raising kids in a lifestyle of service sometimes feels even harder. For military there are constant relocations that make you wonder after a while if you are causing more harm than good. Accepting the call to a service lifestyle is a deeply personal one. Putting your life on the line for country and community is a sacrifice that impacts your entire family. In this interview I speak with Dr Joshua and Christi Straub, a couple doing outstanding work in the field of parenting. Joshua Straub, Ph.D., has two cherished roles—as husband to wife, Christi, and dad Landon and Kennedy. He serves as Marriage and Family Strategist for LifeWay Christian Resources and leads Famous at Home, a company equipping leaders, organizations, military families, and churches in emotional intelligence and family wellness. As a family advocate and professor of child psychology / crisis response, Josh has trained thousands of professionals in crisis response. He also speaks regularly for Joint Special Operations Command and for military families across the country. Josh is author/ coauthor of four books including Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well and creator, along with Christi, of TwentyTwoSix Parenting, an online community of parents offering discipleship tools for their kids. Together, they host the In This Together podcast and their weekly Facebook Live broadcasts reach tens of thousands of families. Joshua and Christi have the "In This Together Podcast" where they address topics on parenting and marriage as well as their 22:6 Parenting Curriculum that gives you everything you could possibly need to succeed as a parent including- - A supportive group environment, - Tools to use with your kids and - Monthly curriculum for you to download each month. To listen to our interview on their "In This Together Podcast", Click the link!

Kim Weathers

Kim Weathers

April 15, 2018

There couldn't be a better way to finish the Family Series than for me to interview Kim Weathers, my mother-in law and Matt's mom. She is a proud wife to a retired police officer and also now knows what it's like to have a son in the military. In this sweet interview, Kim shares the challenges of accepting her son's calling into the military, what it has been like to see our family change and go through difficulty, and encourages other family members on how to maintain strong relationship with their serving family members. It was a vulnerable conversation for both of us, but so, so, worth it.

For Family (Part 2)

For Family (Part 2)

March 31, 2018

In Part 2, I speak specifically to family members rather than service couples. Many families describe visits like walking on eggshells and that is no way to enjoy a visit! If you have not heard Part 1, definitely start there. This offers practical tips for relating to your service family who might be struggling with PTSD, combat stress, or other changes that might stand out to you.

For Family (Part 1)

For Family (Part 1)

March 14, 2018

Has the service lifestyle changed you? Most likely it has and trying to explain to your families members how and why is difficult. In response to the requests for advice on how to talk with family, I decided to offer you a 2 part segment where I specifically talk to your family! In this episode, I explain some of the cultural dynamics that have contributed to changes they may have seen in your family. These conversations can trigger lots of emotions, so this is a great episode to share with those you love!

We Are Different

We Are Different

February 27, 2018

I was asked recently to address how to communicate better with family members- especially when the service lifestyle has changed you and your spouse. This is a sensitive subject so hang on to your seats as we tackle perspective from many angles. This episode is all about how to understand what changes your family might see in you. Sometimes we don't even realize how much we have changed until we go back home. We will talk about how to see your own changes as well as what family might see in you. But what if there are significant changes? What if your spouse has PTSD? Here we start the discussion on what you can do.

Coming Back from the Silence

Coming Back from the Silence

February 5, 2018

 

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If you are looking for an inspirational story, this is it. Watch or listen to my interview with Lindsay Swoboda, a military spouse and new blogger. In this interview, she takes us into a difficult season of her marriage where she found herself feeling incredibly disconnected from her husband and decided to make an inspiring change. She took the Sacred Spaces Challenge and committed to pursuing her spouse in a new way for 365 days! She is currently the owner of the Uplifting Anchor blog where she encourages other military spouses in their everyday experiences. Find a link to her blog in the links above!

 

Tiffany Smiley

Tiffany Smiley

February 4, 2018

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In this amazing story, Tiffany Smiley shares her journey of excitement as a new military spouse and then tragically becoming a caregiver of her husband who was blinded during his first deployment. Over the course of more than 10 years, Tiffany gave everything she had to her husband and family only to burnout and ask whether God loved her or had a purpose for her. In her vulnerable story, she shares how she came back from a very dark place, renewed her mind, and discovered her purpose in bringing hope to others asking the same questions. Tiffany announces her upcoming conference in Washington state where she can help you write your story, be inspired, and discover a sense of purpose yourself. For more on Tiffany's Story of Faith Conference, visit her website http://tiffanysmiley.com

 

 

Telling your Story

Telling your Story

January 30, 2018

Sometimes we just need a place to share our story. Every single one of us has been through something difficult and made it through. I love a good story- one that inspires me to think bigger, live bigger, and love bigger. What I want is to provide a place of encouragement where YOU can share your story with the hope of encouraging someone else. This video will walk you through how to develop your story in a way that will inspire someone else. I hope you will join me.

Good Things

Good Things

November 9, 2017

In response to the growing number of "listeners" rather than "watchers", Lifegiver returns to it's audio version. In this series, I return from a recent sabbatical to talk with you about how often times, "good things" can be just as distracting as "bad things". In a service culture, we are often tempted to help, serve, volunteer, or do "more". What if too much of that is pulling you away from your best potential?

More Alike Than Different

More Alike Than Different

August 31, 2017

In this episode, I talk about the similarities and differences found between military and first responder communities and why we need to find ways to better support each other.

Jonathan & Kylie Towns

Jonathan & Kylie Towns

August 14, 2017

In this interview, Jonathan and Kylie share their experience as a law enforcement couple. Jonathan is part of the Dallas Fort Worth Police Department and shares his experience navigating the chaotic schedules and adrenaline spiked work days. Kylie shares how they have navigated keeping their relationship connected and the similarities they see with the military world.

Sin in a Christian Marriage, Part 2

Sin in a Christian Marriage, Part 2

August 1, 2017

Last time on the Lifegiver Podcast, Matt and I started a conversation about Christian marriage.  In response to my message in Sacred Spaces that we should be pursuing our spouse, I commonly get emails that sound like this... "How long should I pursue my spouse when they aren't reciprocating?" "What if my service member came home different and neglects me and our family?" "How long must I lead before my husband picks up his role as the spiritual leader of our home? These are tough questions and the root issue here is... "How do we address sin in a christian marriage?" -Here is some of what you can expect in Part 2: -Matt and I continue our discussion on gender roles in a godly marriage  -We share some of our own story of how we addressed unmet expectations in our marriage   -Matt talks to service members who have come home different and need hope

Sin in a Christian Marriage, Part 1

Sin in a Christian Marriage, Part 1

July 15, 2017

Every marriage will deal with sin- that is a fact. But when there are destructive patterns like betrayal, addiction, and selfish behavior, what does it actually mean to love like Christ? How do you selflessly serve when firm boundaries need to happen in your relationship? Matt joins me for a 2 part episode on understanding scripture on marriage roles, submission, and dealing with sin.

Wisdom with Suzie Schwartz

Wisdom with Suzie Schwartz

June 30, 2017

Known in the military world as Mama Suzie, Suzie Schwartz has rightfully earned her spot as a mentor for military spouses. Her husband Norton was the Joint Chief of Staff for the Air Force and together they inspired thousands. In this candid and inspirational interview, Suzie shares her wisdom on geo-baching, marriage during a 39 year service to the military, and how she uses her message of kindness to change the world.

Wisdom with Deanie Dempsey

Wisdom with Deanie Dempsey

June 15, 2017

In this sweet, but candid, interview- Deanie Dempsey shares how she and her husband kept their marriage strong after over 30 years in military service. Her husband, General Martin Dempsey was the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff- overseeing the Joint Chiefs of all branches and reporting to the president.

Matt Interviews Corie

Matt Interviews Corie

June 1, 2017

In this candid interview, Matthew asks Corie questions without any prep ahead of time. This heartfelt and sweet interview brings out some of Corie's story, but also the drive she has, and why Wonder Woman is (really) her hero.

The Hero’s Journey

The Hero’s Journey

May 15, 2017

After presenting "The Hero's Journey" at the The Military Spouse of the Year Town Hall in Washington, DC, many remarked that it was very helpful to their journey and wanted it available to share. Every one of us is capable of becoming our own hero as we invest in lives around us- hopefully seeing the hero in them as well.

Set Backs in Marriage

Set Backs in Marriage

April 14, 2017

We all have hope for a marriage that lasts and is fulfilling. What we often don't expect is how hard it will be when we disagree with our spouse on important values, military marriage problems or finding ourselves moving at a different pace. I haven't met anyone who married thinking, "Gee, I don't plan on making this last." Setbacks can happen when we are least expecting it. An injury while training for a physical goal or a career put on hold for a relocation can be incredibly disappointing and discouraging. You may even be tempted to quit. Most couples have at least one area of their relationship that they are hoping to improve or fix. Parenting, finances and even sex can lead to heated disagreements and (hopefully) deciding together on ways to get on the same page and work together. Life's interruptions or an impulsive decision by one of you can make it feel as if you will never reach that goal. In that moment or setback, quitting feels like a very real option. Sometimes, there are very minor consequences to military marriage problems or a setback that only require a deep breath, a good night's sleep, and starting again tomorrow. But destructive choices such as too much video gaming or pornography use by one spouse can cause even bigger consequences, including feeling like this is a major rift in your ability to be a couple. For some, the marriage is already on thin ice if you are working through serious issues such as overcoming infidelity or addiction. Destructive scenarios like these involve a more detailed process of change and support to gain traction. You may feel like the setbacks will never stop, and you will never be able to move forward. No matter what you are dealing with as a couple, whether it's small or large, setbacks are more likely than not to happen as you work toward a new pattern of behavior for both of you. But that doesn't mean all hope is lost. With a few tools in your pocket, you can move through them. Instead of giving up, try these three steps. 1. Hit a pause button. Learning to develop self-control and hit a pause button when things get complicated is a great practice in general. Self-control gives you the opportunity to think through what is happening, feel any feelings that are naturally there and gain perspective. Relocations and deployments are a natural interruption in the military lifestyle when everything feels out of order. Basic needs such as food, shelter and safety all take priority, and you might feel distracted from the intense focus you had as a couple. For example, if you were dependent before your move on a counselor or group for support, it will take some time to find that again. Try not to rush yourself or your spouse through what you were working through when these bumps come along. Instead, agree on a healthy timeframe to reconnect with support or resume the plan when you are both ready. Having grace for each other and getting on the same page are more important than aggressively working on the goal. If you find your spouse is not as motivated as you are, invest your energy toward your part by reading an extra book on the subject or taking a deeper look through journaling. The important thing here is that you process how you are feeling about what happened and avoid doing your spouse's work. 2. Check your progress. The actual definition of a "setback" involves a "check in progress." Most of us see it as a failure, but it is actually an opportunity to think through the progress you are making -- or not making. In addiction recovery, we teach that relapse is not necessary for recovery but can be "part of the process" if it happens. Setbacks can provide an opportunity to take a look at the deeper issues that caused it so you can avoid similar mistakes in the future. If you move too quickly, you will miss huge revelations of yourself, your spouse and your relationship. If you are dealing with a bigger issue such as rebuilding trust, a professional counselor can help you find these answers and build greater empathy for each other. Keep in mind that stressful times such as deployment, reintegration, relocations or trauma can trigger setbacks or relapses, making them more likely to occur. If this is an intense time for your family, be graceful if the setback happened by learning more about each other and doing a good check on whether the path you were on is working. If you know you are going into an intense season, discuss ways to be proactive to prevent one. 3. Move forward. If your spouse caused your setback, it can be incredibly discouraging to think about moving forward. How many setbacks are too many before you should give up? If you are struggling with this question, finding a counselor to talk to will help you determine what is right for your family. If you caused a setback, the shame is equally debilitating. Even when you don't feel like it, take the next healthy step forward. In recovery, there is a phrase -- "fake it till you make it." It doesn't mean you should be inauthentic. It means you decide to take the next step even when you don't feel like it. Eventually, your motivation will come back. Shame (in you or your spouse) spirals into an unproductive place and is not the same thing as processing the present disappointment. Sometimes, the next step is a willingness to physically reach out and hold your spouse's hand again. Embrace that mistakes in our own lives and our spouses are part of being human. One of my favorite phrases is "start simply, but simply start" and is likely to get you going again. Every couple has military marriage problems and issues to work through, which means setbacks are going to happen. Who will you be when it happens to you?

Win-Win Parenting

Win-Win Parenting

April 1, 2017

In this final episode in the Parenting series we are talking about how to apply Steven Covey's Win-Win habit of 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families to parenting. Trying to get your kids to do chores can be a chore itself often leaving you feeling you are on the losing end. As kids get older, they start wanting to find ways of being on the winning end as well. Win-Win can help you both feel successful while your kids are motivate by their freedom to choose what they do. I also take some time to talk about how teens develop and how you can better understand what is motivating your teen to find his or her peer group or apply themselves to their school work.

Parenting Teens with Pam Brummett

Parenting Teens with Pam Brummett

March 14, 2017

On this episode of Lifegiver, I sit down with my good friend Pam Brummett who has raised three fantastic kids, two of them still in high school. It turns out the military doesn't ruin your kids :)

Bullying: It’s Not Just Kids Anymore

Bullying: It’s Not Just Kids Anymore

March 1, 2017

Bullying is a worldwide epidemic that impacts both children and adults. In today’s culture, we see cyber-bullying impacting adults like never before. Divisive conversations over social media, trolling, and mean-ness is causing people to think twice about staying connected online. During this episode in the parenting series, I sit down with Dr. Bina Patel an expert in workplace dynamics, conflict mediation with women, and conflict mediation between culture/religious groups. Dr. Patel offers strategies you can use in your workplace, volunteer circles and with your kids on how to confront bullies and build confidence. In today’s culture, ♣ 30% of teens in the US have experienced bullying ♣ School bullying: 1 in 4 kids at school have been bullied; 160K kids in the US miss school due to bullying ♣ Gay bullying: 2 to 3times more likely to commit suicide and 30% of all completed suicides have been related to sexual identity crisis in the US. ♣ 9 out of 10 LGBT students have reported being bullied at school within the past year. It’s not just for kids, though. Bullying between adults can make the workplace difficult to walk into each day. While many of us grew up being told to ignore a bully, Dr. Patel offers some ways to confront the bully immediately. Dr. Patel offers us an inspiring way to help our children build their self-esteem, find their words, get to the root of their feelings, and become assertive. Of course we all need a little bit of this too! Here are a few tips and resources that Dr. Patel offered: ♣ Confront the bully: don’t ignore it. Turn the negative into a compliment ♣ Love and respect: be confident and love yourself. If you respect yourself, the negativity and harsh words of the bullying will bounce off of you. – you control your own emotions, if you believe that you do, others will not be able to hurt you. ♣ Tell them to stop: point out they’re hurting you (assertive communication) – use the “put yourself in my shoes” technique. ♣ Silence: specific to online bullying- confront them through assertive communication, but do not continue the dialog. This is more harmful to the victim as others are reading it and it is set in writing. Note: if nothing else works, the silent treatment is the best treatment. As the victim, walk away from the bullying. ♣ Online bullying: block posts, delete the posts, report them to Facebook; reach out to the victim either via separate/private message, or stand up for the victim by responding to a bully’s post (assertive communication). Note to Parents: Know your child – know their behaviors, moods, and what makes them tick/happy. If you are cognizant of their behaviors on a normal basis, you will know that something is wrong if your child does not eat, becomes withdrawn, looks sad, etc. Monitor the social media outlets that your child may be using. It is wise to create an account to monitor them, more so that you are aware if someone is bullying them. Be a friend! When your child is depressed, sad, withdrawn, etc, talk them as though you are friends. It is important so that the child feels comfortable they can tell you what is on their mind. One of the books recommended: Confessions of a Former Bully

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